honestly, I thought I was insane. throat swollen by pesky germs = couldn't breathe = automatic KO...but I wanted to run.
I'd say that while we're all old enough to consider the 2.4 as nothing, today's run really tested me.

I guess I'm mad for insisting on running despite this cold (it's really annoying me), but I really thought I could do it.
and I did.

I fought and won!

13:59 (A) - not my best time by far, but it was ultimately the hardest hardest thing I've ever accomplished. to keep going though I just wanted to lie on the track and close my eyes. to put one foot in front of another again and again and again.

but the amazing thing is, I was so sure I'd finish. because I knew I would make myself finish what I started.
as in, while I was running/walking and thinking to myself "I'm crazy, I'm crazy" yet there was never a point where I thought, "I should stop, I want to stop." I wanted to do it, don't you see?

maybe because I wanted to succeed, so so so badly.

why? beats me man..it's not like pft is very important in life.

however, I acknowledge I hit my limit; right after I crossed the finish line I thought I'd essentially killed myself and was a gone case. such a disgrace, to have to struggle to even keep on my feet and try to control my breathing, but I DID IT.

I'm so proud of myself. call me stubborn, but I'm so glad I made it.
plus, now I know that I'm so much stronger than I thought. every round was a struggle, and I hang my head in shame to confess that I walked for a good 3 rounds in an attempt to get more air without making my throat constrict further, but I FINISHED THE RUN.

I FINISHED IT.
do you know what I did?!

take that, you stupid swollen throat. you couldn't stop me! you couldn't bring me down.

sometimes I guess we assume that the impossible is possible.
I proved myself, to me. that was worth all the moments it hurt. overcoming me was worth it.

I don't remember anything about the run at all; you know, when things seem like a dream? too focussed lah kay!
 
but I'll remember that feeling for a long long time to come, the feeling of finally crossing the finish and knowing you couldn't have given more. I've found my limit, after all - how often do people manage to do that?

for the first time in a very very very long time, I am happy with myself.
yan made me smile later when she commented that I was flying. now obviously I was very slow compared to many other runners, but it made me glad to know that I am above all a sprinter.

sprints over runs any day!

and thank you ellie, for being such an awesome partner. probably would have fainted or something without your help.

yup, I'm definitely ill. sore throat, cough, a voice that disappears at random intervals, headache, chills...
and the weirdest thing is I'm not radiating body heat.

as in, even after the run, ellie pointed out that I was freaking cold as an ice cube.
how is that even possible?
uhhuh, I'm thinking of metabolism too.

then again, positive thought: I don't have a fever.
-touch wood-

was considering not showing up in school tmr but it'll be hell if I miss lessons now, so never mind just tahan lah. it's not so bad. and having to drink water so much keeps me wide awake.

5-item!

shuttle: yay back to sec 2 standard, an improvement from sec 3. but not happy since it's still not even close to sec 1..A :)
sit-ups: my abs are out of shape. sorry ms suneeta. but an A anyway :)
sbj: DAMMIT missed my goal by 3 cm ))): -angry angry angry- nearly had the chance to improve on said goal by 10cm, but I faltered and it wasn't to be. A :)
sit&reach: freaking miracle miracle miracle! 44cm, B but ahh that's like a whole 10 cm further than the past. man I'm just not cut out to be flexible.
pull-ups: 18, A :) Coulda done more but well why stress my wrists 3 weeks before the exams?

today was charlotte's happy day, that means happy-happy for me too :)
we were sitting (fine, I ended up lying) on the grass patch talking about nonsense. haha she also realised that she'd gone to her locker without taking out her phone O: blur much!

then we joined Gand & Christie (briefly Chan & Cheong too) under the trellis to talk more crap :P

stupid local grass is so disgusting. I'm gonna go shower now, wash the bugs and grass out of my hair D:

Labels: oth, pi