<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7315825343900738424?origin\x3dhttp://undermadstars.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>



profile entries tagboard links
to write;
"...I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free."

-The Peace of Wild Things; Wendell Berry

Monday, September 13, 2010, 18:48
stop all the clocks;

Ms Kek popping in early this morning: Hi 4G~! Chapel is combined today okay so it's in the hall.
Min in an awesomely cheery voice: Wow, great, moses part five!

That was really hilarious :D I think most of us cracked up quite badly.

Wow, even after so long I guess her atheism still remains with me, because yeah this year I feel further from any gods out there than I've ever felt. And I really feel grateful to Min, because she showed me you don't have to be a Christian to be a good person.

But if I'm honest..I've never felt at home amongst Christians. I'm sorry, but people like me stand in the middle of all the singing and praying and...feel so different. I don't know if Min still feels the same way, but hey, I've grown up with a mother who would drag me to church every single week and force me to pray and all that jazz. Been in a mission school for nearly 10 years too..and I feel nothing. I think it gets worse as I grow older, because now I'm way more cynical about pastors and preaching than ever before.

And where in the past I used to at least seriously give faith a shot, what with all the religious conflicts now (e.g the current intolerant bigoted hatred going on in the US over the mosque, Christians vs Muslims go figure), I'm growing steadily disillusioned.

There must be something wrong with me. To my left and right are devout Christians who can tell me so much about their God and how He loves them, but I won't even give Him a proper chance.

Who am I supposed to apologise to?

Oh yeah, and my favourite wolf story cropped up in chapel today. (See, coincidence..this is getting creepy, I swear.)

Quite aggravated that the speakers always slant this kind of anecdotes towards the (non-existent) religious undercurrents. Look, it's a nontheist story and they're giving people the wrong impression. Maybe they should spend more time preaching to people like Quran-hating Pastor "Islam is the Devil" Jones over in Florida, who has finally and thankfully scrapped his bullshit plan to show his intolerance on a global scale. Oh, and who seriously contemplated putting hundreds of US troops in conflict zones at risk of death.

Way to go. I'm sure lots of people are going to think Christians are awesome now!

Obviously I'm not dumb enough to say that he represents all fundamentalist Christians or his God..but I'm questioning the truth more than ever. How can anyone be as delusional as he is?! Is he mad or just hate-filled?

Yeah, some of you reading this might be offended, but I make no apologies because 1)I'm not threatening to burn the word of your God 2)I'm not calling you the spawn of the Devil 3)I'm not saying your God doesn't exist.

I just don't place my faith in the same entity you do.
In the past I thought I was getting somewhere, but slowly I realised that I was believing in the idea of God and not God Himself. Which basically means my thought process was flawed the entire way.

And this post discusses my personal sentiments towards this, just like how the wolf story is meant to discuss the personal struggles of an individual between good and evil (and is not, contrary to the speaker's opinion, about God vs Satan or whatever (I tend to get quite irritated sometimes during sermons so I have to tune out)..though if you're a Christian then I assume you'd believe that God helps you to overcome the evil, and I commend you for your faith).

I guess you can say I'm going to hell. Well... ...if it exists, you might want to stop judging me now.

.

Screw Geog.

Labels: